Tale of the tape
Less Painful: Watching Jacksonville Or Undergoing Invasive, Unnecessary Surgery?
With the Jacksonville Jaguars unable to do anything right, and turning in performances reminiscent of the ’62 Mets absent any of the charm, watching their games is beyond brutal.
Tale Of The Tape: St. Louis Rams At Houston Texans
Here’s what you need to realize about Sam Bradford. He is a smart, honest quarterback who will give you everything he has on every play.
More Impressive Stats? Denver Broncos Offense Vs. Playing Madden On “Easy”
The Broncos are on pace to break some crazy impressive records. But how do the 2013 Broncos measure up against when I play Madden on easy?
Tale Of The Tape: Jacksonville Jaguars At St. Louis Rams
Sam Bradford looked awful against the 49ers, but they had lost two games in a row and they came with their best effort. Forget that game, because Bradford should be able to get healthy against the Jaguars defense.
The Giants Losing To Carolina Vs. Little Mac Losing To Glass Joe In “Punch-Out”
Perhaps the most lopsided battle in video game sports is that of Little Mac vs. Glass Joe – the first fight in Mike Tyson’s Punch-Out! If done correctly, skilled players can knock the beans out of Joe in 42 seconds, flat. Unskilled players can still take him out before three rounds are up. And unskilled players who think too much would wonder – why is a French guy named “Joe”?
In any case, we here at CBS wondered, what was a more lopsided matchup (and subsequent surprising defeat): Mac vs. Joe? Or the recent Super Bowl champion New York Giants vs. the mostly hapless Carolina Panthers? Let’s go to the tape. Please note that the “winner” of each category is the more humiliating option:
One Broken Arm Later: Nate Burleson’s Pizza Vs. DiGiorno (It’s Not Delivery)
Detroit Lions’ wide receiver Nate Burleson is great at receiving both deftly thrown footballs and emergency roadside medical treatment. Recently, he crashed his car into a Jersey barrier after dropping a slice of pizza around 2:30 in the morning. Apparently there was no hooch in his system, it’s just that he was being a big ol’ bag of dum-dum lollipops. The question that we at CBS can’t help but ask: would he have been better off cooking himself a DiGiorno frozen pizza? Let’s go to the tape.