By Erin Duvall

Did you get choked up during Kelly Clarkson‘s performance of “Piece by Piece” on American IdolKeith Urban did. Ellen DeGeneres asked the songbird if she was surprised by the reaction of fa”I was almost losing it almost the entire song. I was proud of myself for making it as far as I did.”ns the next day.

“Yes, I came off almost in tears for a different reason because I was so embarrassed,” she told the talk show host. “I was like, ‘Oh, God. This is my final thing on Idol and I could not hold it together.’ I was almost losing it almost the entire song. I was proud of myself for making it as far as I did.”

Related: Kelly Clarkson Returns to ‘American Idol’ With ‘Piece By Piece’

“My husband knows me so well,” she adds. “I came off stage and he was like, ‘Don’t ruin it. Don’t ruin the moment.’ I didn’t realize it was going to be that bad. And we were rehearsing that day and I just couldn’t get through it. My 1-year-old is running around the same hallway as I was at 19.”

Not to mention, Clarkson herself calls the tune “incredibly sad,” which is never a good combination with pregnancy.

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