Teaser Trailer to ‘Phelps vs Shark’ is Horribly Overdramatic

Sam Masterson (@sammasterson22)

“The Battle for Ocean Supremacy” is the lamest marketing quotes I’ve heard in a long time, but damn them for still making me want to see what happens.

Michael Phelps is the owner of 28 Olympic medals, and now he’s going to race a great white shark.

The trailer above is for the televised show on Sunday, July 23 at 8 p.m. It will be the primetime entertainment to the start of Shark Week on the Discovery Channel.

The race details are not yet public, but there is no chance Phelps can win, right?

Great whites can swim up to 25 mph, the fastest Phelps has swam in competition was 6 mph, according to ESPN in 2010.

I have so many questions about the race still:

Will it be in the ocean or a salt-water pool?

How does Phelps not get eaten?

How do you make a shark swim in one direction?

Can Phelps wear his slick body suits that are now illegal in Olympic competition?

Does anyone think Phelps can win?

Does Phelps actually think he can win?

How do they choose which great white shark Phelps will race?

Will both racers be drug tested?

How will the shark be compensated for his participation (surely Phelps is being paid)?

It’s all still a pretty big mystery. But I’ll be watching to see what happens.

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